A Different Way to Think About Starting Over

A young woman stands at the start of a mountain path, ready to embark on a new journey

I am someone who sets high expectations for myself.

I like goals. I like plans. I like doing things well—not halfway, not loosely, not accidentally. I’ve also been the person who quietly beats herself up for missing a workout, having a glass of wine she didn’t plan on, or not following the plan exactly as written.

For a long time, I thought that self-pressure was the price of growth. That if I didn’t hold myself tightly accountable, I’d somehow lose momentum or discipline.

But over time, I’ve learned something different.

Growth doesn’t require punishment. And effort isn’t diminished because it’s imperfect.

The beginning of the year tends to amplify this tension. January arrives full of possibility—and with it, an unspoken expectation that we’ll get it right this time. That we’ll finally be consistent. Finally disciplined. Finally become the version of ourselves we’ve been aiming toward.

And when life interrupts—as it always does—the internal dialogue can turn harsh.

I know this voice well. It says:

You should know better.

You were doing so well.

Why can’t you just stick to it?

What I’ve come to understand is that this voice doesn’t make us stronger. It makes us smaller. It narrows our willingness to try again.

So I’m practicing something else.

I still set high expectations—but they’re different now.

I expect effort, not perfection.I expect learning, not flawless execution.I expect myself to notice when something isn’t working—and to adjust rather than abandon it.

Missing the gym isn’t failure. It’s information.

Having a glass of wine isn’t weakness. It’s a choice—one I can reflect on without shame.

Falling off a routine doesn’t erase the intention behind it.

Every day is a chance to begin again—not because we failed yesterday, but because growth is built in layers, not leaps.

I no longer wait for the “right” Monday, the clean month, or the perfect stretch of motivation. I begin where I am, with what I have, and with the awareness I’ve earned along the way.

This isn’t about lowering standards.It’s about raising self-trust.

Trust that I’ll return.

Trust that I’ll learn.

Trust that I won’t give up on myself simply because the path isn’t linear.

I’m still growing. Still learning. Still refining what matters to me—and how I want to live.

And I no longer believe that doing it “exactly right” is the point.

Showing up is. Again and again.

STOP HERE: Can we create a sidebar somewhere in this article to include the following:

A Manifesto for Beginning Again

I believe in starting where you are.In setting high expectations without punishing yourself.In effort over perfection.

I believe missteps are not failures—they are information.

That progress is built through returning, not getting it right the first time.

I believe growth is quieter than we’re led to expect.And that becoming more yourself is a lifelong practice.

You don’t have to wait for a new year.You don’t have to do it perfectly.

You only have to keep showing up.